Frequently ASKED QUESTIONS IN cOACHING

The self is who you are as an individual. In general terms, it's the unique combination of your thoughts, feelings, personality, and experiences that make you, you. It’s what distinguishes you from others and includes your identity, values, beliefs, and memories.

In psychological terms, the self is a person’s sense of their own identity. This includes self-awareness (understanding yourself) and self-concept (how you view your abilities, traits, and characteristics). Psychologists often describe the self as both a stable sense of who you are and a developing, changeable part of your personality and growth.

Ways to Identify the Self:

1. Self-Reflection: Take time to think about what matters most to you, what you enjoy, and what you believe in. Journaling or contemplating your life choices, strengths, and weaknesses can give insight into your self-concept.
2. Ask Yourself Questions: Reflect on questions like: What are my core values? What motivates me? What are my biggest dreams and fears? These questions help clarify your identity and purpose.
3. Notice Your Reactions: Pay attention to how you respond to different situations, people, or challenges. Observing your reactions can reveal underlying beliefs or personality traits that are part of your self-concept.
4. Identify Your Passions and Interests: Recognize the activities or topics that excite you. Your passions often reflect important aspects of your self that bring fulfillment and shape your identity.
5. Seek Feedback: Ask trusted friends or family how they see you. They may give you insights into strengths, talents, or patterns you haven’t noticed.

A mindset shift is a change in the way you think about something. It’s when you adjust your perspective, allowing you to approach situations in a new, often more positive or productive way.

This shift is beneficial because it helps you break out of old habits, see opportunities where you might have seen obstacles, and open yourself up to new ways of solving problems. When you change how you think, you change how you act, which can lead to better results in various areas of your life.

Example: Imagine you have a habit of saying, "I'm just not good at public speaking." This mindset may hold you back from trying, making you feel anxious about every speaking opportunity. But if you shift your mindset to "I can get better at public speaking with practice," you open yourself up to growth. Instead of avoiding it, you start practicing little by little, improving over time and feeling more confident with each attempt. This shift turns a challenge into an opportunity to learn and grow.

A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence. It’s the idea that, with dedication, you can improve and learn new skills.

This mindset is beneficial because it makes you more resilient and open to challenges, mistakes, and feedback. Instead of feeling limited by what you currently know or can do, you feel motivated to grow and keep improving. This leads to more success and personal fulfillment over time.

Example: Suppose you struggle with cooking and often think, "I'm just a bad cook." With a growth mindset, you'd instead say, "I can learn to cook better if I practice." You start trying new recipes, asking for tips, and practicing more often. Over time, you see yourself improve, gain confidence, and even enjoy cooking more. The growth mindset helps turn cooking from a frustration into a skill-building opportunity.

Meditation is a practice of calming your mind and focusing your attention, often to help you feel more peaceful, present, and aware. It involves setting aside time to relax, letting go of distractions, and focusing inward.

Why it’s useful: Meditation helps reduce stress, improve focus, and create a greater sense of well-being. By practicing it regularly, you can feel more balanced and better able to handle life’s challenges.

Examples of Meditation Techniques:

1. Mindfulness Meditation: This technique focuses on being fully present in the      moment. You can start by sitting quietly, closing your eyes, and paying attention to your breath or the sensations in your body. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breathing.
2. Guided Visualization: In this technique, you use your imagination to picture      peaceful scenes or positive goals. A guide (like a recorded voice) may lead you through visualizing a calming place, like a beach, or imagining yourself achieving a goal. This helps promote relaxation and motivation.
3. Metta Meditation: This practice involves silently repeating phrases that wish well-being and happiness for yourself and others. You might start with “May I be filled with loving kindness,” and gradually extend similar wishes to loved ones, acquaintances, and even those you may have conflicts with. This helps cultivate compassion, empathy and reduce negative feelings.

An intention is a clear goal or purpose you set for yourself. It’s like making a promise to yourself about how you want to act, feel, or approach something. Intentions guide your focus and actions, helping you align with your values and goals.

Why it’s useful: Setting an intention gives your day or activity direction and meaning, keeping you grounded in what really matters to you. It helps you stay motivated and make choices that support your personal growth and happiness.

Examples:

1. Daily Intention: "Today, I will focus on staying calm and positive, no matter what challenges come my way." This helps you approach your day with a calm mindset and be less affected by stress.
2. Personal Growth Intention: "I intend to be more patient and understanding with my family." This reminds you to put extra effort into showing patience, which strengthens your relationships and helps you grow emotionally.

Visualization is the practice of creating a mental image of something you want to happen. It’s like daydreaming with purpose—seeing yourself achieving a goal or succeeding in a task.

Why it’s useful: 

Visualization helps your brain get familiar with the steps to reach a goal, which can make you feel more confident, prepared, and motivated to take real action. Studies show that imagining yourself succeeding can actually improve performance because it boosts your focus and helps reduce fear or self-doubt.

Example: Imagine you have a big presentation at work. Before the day arrives, you could close your eyes and visualize yourself confidently speaking, clearly explaining your points, and getting a positive response from the audience. By practicing this mental image, you feel more prepared and less nervous when it’s time to present.